Reflections on "The After 40 Dilemma" launch at Mandela Business School.

Despite the less-than-ideal weather, last night’s gathering at the Mandela Business School was nothing short of remarkable. Gqeberha’s book lovers, business leaders, and young professionals showed up in full support of Dr. Babalwa Maholwana, who launched her new memoir, The After 40 Dilemma, in partnership with the Black Management Forum (BMF). The evening was a powerful blend of authenticity, vulnerability, and strategic insight - a timely conversation about navigating the complexities of life and leadership, for both females and males in their 40s.

From the start, it was clear this was not going to be an ordinary book launch. The BMF NMB Chairperson, Siyabulela Jodwana, opened the evening by reminding us of BMF’s core mandate: To celebrate black excellence and advocate for the inclusion of black professionals in strategic corporate spaces. He noted, “As BMF, we are focused on empowering young professionals because as the current leaders, we will not occupy these positions forever. Strategic positions are held by black professionals, but the gates are still closed. We are saying to young professionals: occupy those spaces and be active in a meaningful way.”

Dr. Babalwa’s memoir struck a deep chord with the audience. The panel, composed entirely of women, unpacked the realities of juggling corporate leadership, motherhood, and personal growth - often at the expense of their well-being. The book is not only a memoir but also a guide on how to be authentic, set boundaries, and prioritize oneself while managing work, family, and relationships.

Leadership roles held by women are often portrayed as a victory - a symbol of progress in the fight for black women’s inclusion in professional spaces. However, the truth is far more complex. Women in leadership face immense pressure to prove themselves twice as much as everyone else while simultaneously handling the emotional labour of family and personal relationships. These struggles are rarely acknowledged - until burnout hits, until women collapse under the weight of their “superhero” roles. Yet, these same women are the architects of future professionals. Their motherly instincts extend beyond the home into their workplaces, where they lead, coach, and build the next generation of leaders.

The panelists shared stories of resilience, heartbreak, love, toxicity, and exhaustion. One panelist, Ziyanda Arosi-Dlulane, who is a clinical psychologist, offered a poignant reflection, “Balancing your everyday life means giving your most energy to what is important at that specific moment - you don’t have to split yourself in two all the time.” Her words resonated deeply, highlighting the importance of setting realistic expectations and knowing when to shift focus.

My personal takeaway from the evening is that the “superhero” in women is not some natural superpower - it’s a collection of hard-won experiences that are not always sweet, comfortable, or healthy. We shouldn’t celebrate hardship, even though it often shapes our greatest strengths. As we raise the next generation, more coaching, mentoring, and deep meaningful conversations (DMCs) should become the foundation for helping our children navigate the inevitable imbalances of life, love, and purpose.

Of course, the evening’s insights would not have been as profound without the wise words of Nomhle ‘Chinese’ Tys - Public Sector Lead: Metrolife, Zola Ngoma - Head HR Manager: Coega, and Dr. Babalwa Maholwana herself. And a special thanks to Shalom Mso Khandanisa, who did an exceptional job facilitating the discussion - ensuring clarity and drawing out thoughtful insights from each speaker.

To me, The After 40 Dilemma is a roadmap for both women and men who are navigating the complex intersections of leadership, family, and selfhood. Dr. Babalwa’s work is a powerful reminder that true strength lies not in doing it all, but in knowing when to let go, creating boundaries, and prioritizing oneself.

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